So, I was at work the other day (really) and my daughter texted me the following; “What ever you may do, whether you eat or drink, do it all for the glory of God.”
The text came the perfect time. I don’t remember the exact situation, but I really needed it.
I found out today that my wife told Tori that I was having a tough day. She texted me and then told Carla “I sent him some Jesus words.”
Here’s what happened: I was driving home from work, listening to some Petra. The song “King’s Ransom” was on and I debated skipping it as it has never been one of my favorites. For some reason, I left it on and just listened. When it got to the part that says “The life of a King in place of me,” I started to think about the value that God placed on us. We were worth so much to him that he was willing to sacrifice his son for us.
What’s funny is that I keep trying to think of another way to say that to make it sound better…some way to make it mean more.
Jesus knew exactly who you were and died for you anyway. He knew all your junk and all the horrible things you were capable of and would ever do. To make it even worse, he wasn’t ordered to do it, but instead did it willingly.
God, thank you for what you did. Thank you for sending your son to die in my place. I can’t believe you would do that for me. Did you actually see value or potential in me? Am I worth that to you?
I know I can never repay what has been done for me. I know there is nothing I can do. But what COULD I do? How should I live my life, knowing this is true?
I’m going to be more grateful. More aware of the price that was paid for my life. Please help me to do this.
I was driving to work yesterday. The back road I was on feeds out of a high school, so it’s always crowded at 7:30 AM. It is one of those roads that goes down to one lane from two. Naturally, everyone has to get to work before you do, so people tend to be fairly aggressive about cutting into the front of the line. Not really a big deal – it happens.
About four vehicles in front of me, I saw a big Ford pickup. It was jacked up a good foot or two and had the tires to go with it. You’ve seen it, the kind of truck that was made to go in the mud, but never sees anything but pavement. Anyway, the driver pulled out of the left lane into the right lane and stopped, his hazards blinking. He got out of his truck and walked around to the front. He looked like the modern Texas version of a cowboy: short hair, jeans, John Deere baseball hat, and cowboy boots.
As I was wondering what the heck was going on, I saw something crawling across the road in front of the pickup. What I figure happened was that someone hit the creature (it looked like a gopher) and this guy stopped his truck to move it off the road.
Sure enough, he picked it up and moved it to the grass on the side of the road. As I drove by, it didn’t appear to be moving much.
It may sound silly to you, but as I drove on, I got to thinking.
That was a man.
A man stops to help a creature on the road. He isn’t worried about being late to work and, if he is late, he’ll just say, “I had to do something.” He also doesn’t care what anyone else thinks; he knows he’s doing the right thing. A man is moved by compassion and acts accordingly.
If you look around, you can see these guys all over. They go to work every day and do a good job. They hold the door open for the person behind them. They let the other person go first. They get frustrated and try not to show it. They stop to help people on the side of the road. All of these small acts make up a man.
I realize I am generalizing. Not all males are men. Some men use their strength and authority to rule and dominate. But the vast majority do not. The other problem is that so many males do not know how to be men. It is not for lack of trying, it just seems to be hard to find people who know what a real man looks like. The media mostly portrays strong men as people who use their strength to hurt others. The irony is that a strong man uses his energy and power to help, not to harm.
I’m sorry if this sounds like a hokey beer commercial and I don’t really have a deep thought to offer. I’m just glad there are still men out there, that’s all.
Yeah, I saw the movie, but that’s not important right now…
What if you were a jerk? How would you know? One of the defining attributes of a jerk is the fact that they are oblivious to what is going on around them. So, if you told them they were being a jerk, they would probably respond with “Me? You’re the one who…(insert made-up offense here).”
Nobody wins with that exchange, except for the jerk.
What if suddenly, it was crystal clear to you that you were a jerk? How would you change? I mean, it’s easy and fun being a jerk. It’s hard to think of others first and their feelings. This requires some effort and can actually hurt – two things that your average jerk avoids like the plague. Not that I would know.
I just heard this story of a man at the zoo. He was watching a gorilla in a cage. Apparently, the gorilla was copying everything that the man was doing and he (the man) thought this was really cool. As the man started to leave, the gorilla started to throw feces at the glass. The man turned around and was so upset that he started yelling at the gorilla. The zookeeper came up and told him to stop yelling at the gorilla. The gorilla was being punished for throwing feces (if you can imagine) and didn’t know that he was strong enough to break out of his cage. The keeper was concerned that the man would make the gorilla so angry that the animal would tear down the bars and escape his cage.
As I was listening to this story, I got a picture of me, sitting in this cage that I can get out of any time I want. But I would rather just sit here, throwing poop at the people around me, blaming them for my predicament. What a jerk.
God, please help me to be like you, not like me. Help me to fix the damage I’ve caused.
Man, it stinks in here.
So, we were talking about church at dinner tonight. I asked my girls “What would the perfect church look like?” I meant, “What would you want church to be like?”
Someone said, “I would love to be able to worship with others who worship with reckless abandon.”
Someone else said, “I wish I could hear everyone singing.” (We had just been to SWTS Gala and heard everyone singing hymns – tres cool)
One of them said, “I want to go where people dress up.”
Then, another one said, “I think they shouldn’t wear pants.”
It went downhill from there…
Yesterday, I spoke with the Sunday School class that I help teach. I asked them to ask God which of the seeds they were from the parable of the Seed and the Sower. Then I told them to wait for an answer – if they dared.
Have you ever asked God a question and then waited for him to answer? I think that most of us do the first thing: ask a question. But we rarely wait for an answer. The problem is that we really don’t want to hear what God had to say. We’re afraid that he will ask us to do something hard like move to Africa or become a nun/monk/aesthetic/whatever.
If you were playing soccer and wanted to be improve your game, you would ask your coach what you should do. If you were playing piano, singing, playing basketball, wrestling, playing the horn/guitar/trombone you would ask your instructor what you had to do to improve. And then, if you really meant it, you would do it. Whatever that person said, you would make it happen.
So, why do we try to slide when it comes to our Christian life? You said the prayer, yer in.
Yippee. Now what?
Yes, I know that God’s sacrifice of his Son, Jesus, is the greatest gift we’ve been given. Please don’t get stuck on thinking that I am in any way trying to trivialize this.
Do you really think that God intended you to ‘become a Christian’ (sorry for the air quotes) and then never do anything to become a better Christian? I’m not talking about becoming more saved, I’m talking about changing your life. I’m also not talking about doing things so that God will love you more. Seriously, what more does he have to do to prove that he loves you?
Are you serious about this whole Christian thing? Here’s some things that the Bible says you need to do:
Yeah, there’s more but that should do for now. Do you want to know how to be a better Christian? Look at the list above and do them. Not so God will love you more or so you can be saved, but so you show people you are a Christian, rather than just tell them.
I can’t blog.
I’ve been blogging in my head and every time I get on a computer, I can’t force myself to write.
Does this make sense to anyone? All I know is that it’s killing me.
Honestly, part of the problem is that I’m on a computer for eight+ hours a day. We’re talking solid, staring at the screen, moving the mouse, typing for at least eight hours. So, when I get home, I usually want nothing to do with a computer.
But, I’ve done that before and still blogged. What’s keeping me from doing it now?
Tonight, Carla and I were talking about AIM. She said that because I’m not there anymore, I feel like that person doesn’t exist. That guy who used to blog all the time is gone.
But that shouldn’t be true. AIM wasn’t my identity any more than DART was my identity or my church or my current job.
You know what’s really crazy? I even wrote a blog about not letting your job be your identity. The irony is that I am, yet again, wrapped up in my job. My job is who I am. If you ask me who I am, I would say that I’m a technical support specialist. Prior to this, I would have said I was a missionary.
However, as my brilliant and beautiful wife pointed out, I’m the same guy that used to write those blogs. Nothing about me has changed, just my job. I still have stories to tell and God is still doing work in my life (is he ever…).
I’m trying to figure out how to summarize this. How to put it into a pithy saying. What answer should I give when someone asks me who I am or what I do? Should I give the churchy answer? “I’m saved by the blood of the Lamb. A sinner, saved by grace.” Or should I say something like “I’m Mark. I love to laugh, read, play, talk, and be with people. I love my family and enjoy being with my wife and children more than anyone else in the world. How lucky is that?”
OK, I was thinking that was going to be a hokey answer, but I like it.
More than anything, I want to be God’s man. I want him to take my heart and soften it. I want him to shape me and mold me to be the man he wants me to be. I don’t want to love the world or anything in the world. I want to be humble and put others first.
I want to be God’s man.
My friend J gave me a great word picture last night.
He said that he had an image of himself working on a machine with his tools: anger, intimidation, and hurtful words to name a few. These are tools that he’s used all his life and they have served him well.
Standing behind him was God, saying “I’ve got some tools that would work very well here, would you like to use them?”
J said to God, “No, thanks, I’ll keep using my own tools.”
To which God replied, “OK, I’ll be right here if you ever need some different tools.” The tools were love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Wow, what a picture.
This past week, I started an argument with Carla, again. After we were done fighting and had settled down some, she said, “You always fight by SAYING you’re not fighting, but in reality, you start the fight and then try to look righteous when I respond.”
I didn’t want to agree with her, but I had to. It’s like I trip her and push her into the mud and then, when she comes up sputtering, I say “I’m not going to fight.”
What a dirty trick…
After she told me, “This is the way you fight,” I had a picture of me working on my relationship using the weapons of anger and belittlement. What a foolish way to be successful.
Couple the word picture I had with what J told me about using God’s tools and BOOM! Epiphany.
What a powerful picture. I’m a tool kinda guy and this isn’t the first time that God has spoke to me with a tool/car metaphor. Isn’t it cool that God understands us each so intimately? From this point on, I’m praying and asking God to show me how to use his tools. I’m going to leave mine in the box.
You can’t be content if you’re living in the future.
The first time I was laid off, Carla said that she was holding her breath, waiting for it to be over. I can assure you that I felt exactly the same way.
This time, it hit me hard. As soon as I found out I was to be laid off, I immediately reverted to survival mode. Really, I just want it to be over.
Carla, on the other hand, has said that she wants to get everything that God wants for us during this one. She said last night that she felt like she had to repeat the lesson two or three times, but now she’s ready for the second lesson – whatever that is.
She just came home from playing piano at Bowie HS and was talking about her great walk home. She said, “How can you be content if you’re living in the future? TODAY is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad!”
Just like John the Baptist, I want to serve God now. I want to become lesser while he becomes greater. I want to live today, not in the non-existent future.
Do I have a great wife or what?
So, I’m having to change everything about me. Or am I?
It’s just weird. I’m filling out applications at the school district I used to teach at. I’m answering questions I never thought I would answer again. Weird, education-type questions about my philosophy of education (I’m for it).
The problem is, this isn’t the picture I have of my life. Or is it?
What should the picture of my life be? Should I view it through my eyes or is there another way?
hmmm
Go Therefore 